True, But I Still Liked The Movie Though

Sunday April 20th, 2008

Juno: The Abridged Script.

MICHAEL CERA
So what are you doing here? Do you need someth-

ELLEN PAGE
Wait, hold on. Your track team is about to come running by and I need to do a voiceover narration for no particularly reason, even though I only do it like three more times in the entire movie.

ELLEN PAGE (V.O.)
Whenever I see the track team, I can’t help but picture their penises, because doing so allows me to explain that fact in a voiceover narration that I can end with the very hip term “pork swords.”

ELLEN PAGE
Alright, sorry about that. What were we talking about? Oh right, I’m pregnant and it’s yours.

MICHAEL CERA
Rather than freak the hell out like a typical high school student, I’m going to sputter around for words awkwardly and barely finish complete sentences. It’s kind of my thing.

and

ELLEN PAGE
Hi. I’d like to make an appointment for an abortion. Oh wait hang on my Hamburger Phone is acting up.
(shakes phone)
Alright, there we go.

CLINIC RECEPTIONIST (O.S.)
Alright, well just come in any time and we can tak-

ELLEN PAGE
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t think you heard me. I’m talking on a HAMBURGER PHONE. How zany is that? That’s for shizz quirky.

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